Last Week in Bayern News

Marc Separator July 14, 2020

Guest Contributor: Subrat Borgohain

Sunday

Sunday started off with some Bild grades for the Pokal match. Lewandowski of course got a 1 and both Alaba and Kimmich received 2’s. Everyone else was a 3. (“1” equals A in the US, “6” is an F)

Hansi Flick eased any worries about Boateng’s injury in the Final saying that it was “not serious.

According to the Sunday Express, Bayern are interested in Hector Bellerin for the right-back position next season. At least we know he and Serge are friends!

Monday

Monday was a very lazy affair, having trailed one of the most high octane displays of football by the Bavarians at Berlin. Some intense partying behind closed doors later, it was business as usual at the front desk. Business as usual as in jersey speculations, why Robert Lewandowski should be the frontrunner for the Ballon d’Or and the annual how does this double winning manager stack up to Pep Guardiola. And then there was the annual Lothar Matthäus reviewing things.

Hansi Flick started a new career as a delivery man…

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UEFA confirmed that the remaining round of 16 matches would be played at the home team’s stadiums meaning that Bayern will face Chelsea at the Allianz.

Seemingly, the only person who certainly didn’t respect the lazy nature of the day was Dr. Müller-Wohlfahrt, which seems almost routine by now. Every second Monday when the moon is three fourths its usual size, the doctor sacrifices some young Bayern blood and calls upon the dark lord to wage war on Guardiola, in pure nostalgia. With Sané finally in Bavaria it was the day, again. Here’s what he said.

Tuesday

Per Kicker, Hoffenheim are interested in youth team player Oliver Batista-Meier, though Bayern are unlikely to sell him without an option to buy him back in the future.

Bayern also released their “schedule” for the remainder of the 2019/20 season. I’m not entirely sure why I care about their holiday schedule, but I guess I do.

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SZ casually revealed that Javi Martinez would be leaving the club after the season. Everyone freaked out, until a few minutes later when DAZN stated that no decision had been made regarding his future. So now we’re all back to the same place we started, minus a few brain cells from the idiocy.

Late in the day, Abendzeitung revealed that Jerome Boateng was likely to remain at FC Bayern in the following season. Given the uncertainty around Alaba and Lucas, reports of someone staying is a welcome change.

Wednesday

It’s always fun to reminisce. Especially when it involves putting 7 goals past Brazil in the World Cup in Brazil.

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Niklas Süle has been working hard in training this whole time, apparently. That work ethic gives me more reason to dismiss the David Alaba transfer news. Which has been everywhere. Opening one’s feed without staring at pics of smiling Alabas has been……undoable. And then, further reports of Javi Martinez leaving. Welp, back to the comforting loops of more Niklas Süle training videos.

Kimmich got a new friend. Sane is officially the most valuable Bayern player, which is fairly hilarious to anyone not located in the blue half of Manchester.

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Chris Richards is generating interest from several countries but again, Bayern would only sell with a buy back option or on a loan deal.

Thursday

All I know at this point in time is that: Niklas Süle training videos bring me great joy, the third kit is….a flawed one? Very mixed feelings, please help me make up my mind in the comment section.

According to Bild, Tolisso might stay if Martinez and Thiago leave but only if they receive a “top offer”. While this might seem obvious, apparently you’d be wrong. They also doubled down on Perisic returning to Inter.

Hoffenheim meanwhile may win the “what the hell are you talking about” award for 2020. CFO Frank Briel went on record saying that Bayern are showing a lack of solidarity by signing youth players that they were interested in. Correct me if I’m wrong Frank, but Bayern aren’t UNICEF for the Bundesliga. Given the nature of transfers these days, or at least pre-rona, it is only prudent for Bayern to look for talent wherever they can get it. But then, maybe Bayern are undercutting an investment they have in Hoffenheim that I’m unaware of.

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Friday

Friday started with UEFA’s Champions League draw. True to form, all of the “favorites” will face one another prior to the final. Bayern will face the winner of Barcelona Napoli assuming they get past Chelsea. They then will face whoever makes it out of the group of Manchester City, Real Madrid, Juventus and Lyon. The other side features PSG, Atletico, Leipzig and Atalanta. That seems balanced. The joy of “random” draws.

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For Bayern, both of these ties have a lot of history surrounding them in the later stages of the Champions League. If you ask me, I’d go for Bayern vs. Napoli this time around. To answer the why though, with the mood surrounding Catalonia I’d think Napoli would be more entertaining to watch. Or maybe Messi does a Messi, goes super saiyan and breaks through Napoli to take on Bayern for rights to the Champions League. Whatever will be the case, Bayern Munich stand in a comfortable position to face either of them, the result of which will certainly be a very exciting matchup.

The DFB then announced the schedule for the 2020/21 season. It’s going to be a fixture heavy year for everyone and will feature no winter break. Time to invest in voodoo dolls or whatever black magic you pref to keep the boys healthy next year.

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ESPN’s Mark Ogden revealed that Liverpool are no longer interested in Thiago citing his age and the 30 million dollar price tag.

Hansi Flick met up with FC Bayern Campus manager Jochen Sauer to discuss the youth club side of things. I sense great things about to come out of this Flick era.

Saturday

Hertha are interested in Sven Ulreich now that Stuttgart keeper Kobel has decided to stay put.

At the very least, what is certain is that Bayern Munich will face Chelsea on 8th August at 21:00 CEST in the Allianz Arena. One thing at a time.

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Yeah right, one thing at a time.

»Eier, wir brauchen Eier!«

— Oliver Kahn

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  1. Hahaha. I thought this was very funny. Good job, Marc, inviting the guest editor, and excellent job, Subrat, delivering the Bayern news in as light-hearted and entertaining a way as you did. Well done.

    BTW, I agree with you, the third kit design takes some getting used to. And then some more. But at least it’s something different for a change.

  2. Little feedback: In my opinion it doesn’t matter if something happens on Tuesday or Friday. I would prefer another way of grouping the news.

    Answer Icon1 ReplyClose child-comments
    1. Ok, what way would you suggest then? It appears to me that a chronological order seems a fitting way of sorting a stream of news, don’t you think?

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