Last Week In Bayern News

Marc Separator August 10, 2020

Sunday

We’ll start this week with a bit of Thomas Müller shenanigans. As you may have known because of our fan feature of Paris, Muller wore a pair of Thai Boxer shorts to the Pokal celebrations in Berlin. Last week, Thomas made the fan who gave him those shorts dream come true by having a video call with her and explained exactly how those shorts came to be with him in Berlin.

Sandro Wagner officially retired from football. Presumably he will continue his career of playing French villains in films.

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In all seriousness, he plans to go into coaching and will start work on his degree in September.

Leroy Sane showed off some fancy footwork in practice. Lets hope he finishes these runs a little better in a few months.

Niko Kovac spoke out on his time at Bayern to L’Equipe, after stating that the players being unhappy because they are stars and weren’t playing was the reason for his failing, he snuck in a fantastic boast of “…but we were there to win titles and we won three”. Nice work reminding everyone you won the Supercup with Bayern as well.

Alphonso Davies may have competition in the form of Hearts left-back Aaron Hickey according to BBC Sport and Lyon left-back Melvin Bard. Am I missing something here?

Bild is reporting that there are clear signs internally that David Alaba will extend is contract at Bayern, likely in the next two weeks while the team is in Lisbon. I’m sure this won’t change in a few days.

Sometimes it’s hard to tell if Uli Hoeneß actually stepped down or if he just wanted more license to speak his mind whenever he liked. Whatever the case, he certainly let loose regarding BVB’s internal strategy regarding the buying and selling of players.

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Monday

Sven Ulreich (32) and Corentin Tolisso (26) share a birthday! Who knew? Well I’m sure they knew…and the team…and probably some of the players…whatever I didn’t!

Marseille still want Cuisance but both clubs have agreed not to discuss the matter further till after the Champions League.

Surprise! BVB didn’t take kindly to Uli’s comments. Watzke and Rauball also had their say. Rauball’s statement in particular amused me: “The timing is also very surprising, Bayern have better things to do during this Champions League week.” Bayern do have better things to do. But does Uli Hoeneß?

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Hilariously, Kalle and Hainer were quick to distance themselves from Uli’s comments according to Bild. Uli is setting himself up to be the 50/50 guy for the club. He half represents the club, but if it’s too bad, they can easily distance themselves. Seems like an ideal role for a guy who ran out of F*ck’s to give about 8 years ago.

Tuesday

Bayern’s Champions League squad was announced. Oliver Batista Meier and Joshua Zirkzee were placed on the alternate roster, which would allow them to play still, Sarpreet Singh and Lars Lucas Mai were removed from the roster with their loan moves meaning they cannot play and Bright Arrey-Mbi, Jamal Musiala and Malik Tillman were all added to the squad.

The DFL announced general guidelines regarding spectators for next season’s Bundesliga and 2. Bundesliga matches.

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UEFA also announced that cumulative yellow cards would reset following the round of 16 matches, meaning that no Bayern players will miss the match with Barca due to suspension…I’m looking at you Kimmich…good job not getting a card.

According to The Secret Scout, Bayern appear set to sign 16 year old Celtic winger Barry Hepburn. Yay…

Batista-Meier’s people want him to go out on loan, with Nürnberg and other interested. Makes sense. Früchtl will also go to Nürnberg on a 2 year loan. Seriously, is Nürnberg giving up and deciding to be the unofficial Bayern II team next season?

More fighting with the medical staff as Müller-Wohlfahrt seems incapable of staying out of the news even after he retires. According to Bild at least, Süle and the doctor in question had a falling out over a set back he had in April.

Flick apparently wants another winger. The club are being tight asses of course. Oh and look! Bild is now saying that David Alaba is not unsellable. I’m like some shoddy fortune teller that predicts obvious futures.

Sepp Maier showed up to give Manuel Neuer some pointers. One can only imagine what it took for Maier to actually make Neuer laugh.

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Wednesday

Between discussing Sancho and peddling his book, Falk decided to confuse everyone thoroughly.

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In other words, there is no story. Great! Thanks for that update. I can see why we all go to you for this type of insight.

Amazing stuff from Uli.

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Yeah David. A million here or there is nothing…we all know that. Duh…just pay your taxes and you’ll be fine. (wink wink)

Bild is now linking Alaba with PSG. Seriously, is Guy Pearce’s character from Momento running Bild? Do they have to decipher post-it note’s of what is going on with David Alaba every few hours because of short term memory loss? The contradictions are endless.

According to Sportske Novosti, Inter will discuss a swap with Bayern for Perisic and Marcelo Brozovic for Corentin Tolisso if Bayern will also send 20 million euro along with the Frenchman. My guess is Bayern will be interested until they hear the word cash at which time they will immediately hang up.

Kicker meanwhile say Alaba has decided to stay and that it’s Hernandez that could be on his way out. I swear, you can’t even make this stuff up.

Thursday

Muller fires warning shots at Goretzka’s muscles

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Wooyeong Jeong will make his way back to Bayern following his loan spell at Freiburg. He will join Bayern II in the third division. Who know’s maybe he’ll join the new Bayern side they started in Nürnberg. If he does, you heard it here first! (Take that Falk!)

Bild says that Zirkzee is still the first backup for Lewandowski despite the fact that Tillman replaced Zirkzee on the A roster. I’m not exactly sure where the logic is there. I’ll keep looking.

Lewandowski and Davies were in Whoscored’s European Team of the Season. Timo Werner and Jadon Sancho joined them. The Premier League also had 4 players, while Serie A had 2 (Ronoldo and a goalkeeper) and La Liga had 1 (Messi)…but the Bundesliga is the “farmers league”…

Pavard posted a picture of himself chilling on the couch…with a phone case that looks suspiciously like him. At least he’s resting.

Friday

The DFL released the schedule for next season and Bayern will start off their quest for a 9th straight title against Schalke at the Allianz. The Supercup will shirk tradition and will also be played at the Allianz on September 30th instead of Signal Iduna Park.

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According to Bild however, the date for Bayern’s first match depends on their progression in the Champions League. If Bayern were to reach the final, their match would be on Monday September 21st instead of Friday the 18th to give them a few extra days of rest. So generous.

Saturday

Match Day started slow. No big news off the field. The lineups also provided no real surprises with Kimmich moving back, Thiago coming in and Perisic starting for the injured Coman. Lewandowski would decide things early and Bayern would never really look back in their 4-1 defeat of Chelsea.

A few things of note. Müller made his 112th Champions League appearance, the tying Phillip Lahm for the most by a German player. Süle, Tolisso and Coutinho made their returns after long layoffs. Boateng’s injury did not result in anything serious. Bayern Became the first team to ever win 8 straight games in the same Champions League campaign. Lewy has been involved in 17 goals in 7 games so far in the Champions League, 7 of which came at the expense of Chelsea.

Sadly, it wasn’t all fun and games. Someone snapped a picture of Lucas Hernandez taking what appears like a farewell picture for Javi Martinez. If this really was his last game at the Allianz as a Bayern player, we will all wish him the best going forward and look forward to seeing him again for a proper farewell in the future.

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Finally, Kicker’s grades came out. Lewandowski of course got a 1. Everyone else got a 2 except Gnabry and Goretzka who got 3’s and Neuer who got a 4. Kicker really penalizing the captain for that blunder on the Chelsea goal.

That wraps up another schizophrenic edition of our weekly Bayern news. Bayern will no doubt spend the next week getting ready for a huge test against Barcelona. Uli will no doubt irritate someone by opening his mouth. And we’ll be there to capture it all again next week!

»Eier, wir brauchen Eier!«

— Oliver Kahn

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  1. “Bayern will no doubt spend the next week getting ready for a huge test against Barcelona. Uli will no doubt irritate someone by opening his mouth” … and David Alaba’s transfer will certainly have another wrinkle to the story.

    Thanks for the hearty laugh. You do have comedic talent.

  2. Hahaha the part about Uli vs Dortmund is very funny. I think it was unnecessary move from Uli, but I always enjoy his war vs Dortmund, I laughed a lot reading that part in this article.

    On another note, though not being mentioned here, but it’s news (or rumour) relevant, so yeah, about Kai Havertz. Don’t know how much truth in “he’s going to sign for Chelsea soon”, but Bayern have repeatedly implied they would not go for him. I know we’re doing the sensible thing here to protect the club’s future in this uncertainty period, but thinking about losing this big prospect, especially to a club like Chelsea (no offend to them I just don’t like them), is frustrating, especially another young German talent is already there.

    Answer Icon1 ReplyClose child-comments
    1. Thanks for your feed back Hien and I’m glad you enjoyed it!

      While I no doubt think that the money is a big part of Bayern not pursing Havertz this season, one aspect to consider is what his actual role would be if they were to sign him. With Muller in the form he’s in at the moment, I’m not sure where he would play. Of course he would get minutes, but he just turned 21 and he’s too good not to be a first choice starter. Honestly, I think he may run into the same issue at Chelsea. I’m not exactly sure I understand their strategy at the moment. Havertz, Werner and Pulisic are all very similar players, not to mention the others in the squad. But honestly, if someone is willing to give Leverkusen 100 million euro in this environment, they can have him.

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